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I hate to be an angsty-ass, but . . .

Sun Dec 20, 2009, 5:19 PM
I hate to be an angsty-ass, but I am right now. I'm mega-ulter-super-uber pissed and feeling sorry for myself when I know I shouldn't be. Self-pity is not an option when I have so much work to do. /sigh/

So I've been thinking a ton lately about under-noticed, under-appreciated artists. Myself included. I know this sounds kind of conceited and self-important, but I really wish people would notice those who, like me, are just starting out and aren't quite as good as the others but are still trying. I've been on for 1 3/4 years and I don't have 3k pageviews yet. I know people that have been on for just a few weeks or months who have double or triple my number of pageviews. Not to mention quite a few of them are dreaded art thieves. Oh noes. I find this super unfair. And when my temper's up I can't draw worth shit so I can't get anything done right now. I'm supposed to be editing chapter of Me and My Brothers but I can't get around to all the redrawing and translating that I need to do with my mind buzzing. I cried myself to sleep last night feeling bad for all those great artists who no one ever sees, and then when I woke up this morning I was pissed out of my skin. Please, if you're reading this, take some time to notice the little people who are just starting out or haven't yet grasped the full potential of their talent.

I feel bad now.

  • Mood: Resentful
  • Listening to: Yui - Again
  • Reading: Raws of Onii-chan to Issho
  • Eating: Olive pizza
  • Drinking: Mint tea (for my angry pants)

Woot!

Mon Dec 7, 2009, 6:41 PM
Yay! My school has no school tomorrow! /happy dances/

I have become infatuated with Kamichama Karin. I liked it before, but I've been reading it for hours today so I'm feeling really hooked. I want to buy the books for a Christmas present to myself. ^^

  • Mood: Thrilled
  • Listening to: Run For Your Life (Mana Khemia opening song)
  • Reading: Kamichama Karin Chu
  • Watching: Watership Down
  • Playing: Mana Khemia: Alchemist of Al-Revis
  • Eating: Comet (lol)
  • Drinking: "Sakura Soda" made by me. Great stuff.

I should be in jail

Journal Entry: Sun Nov 22, 2009, 5:15 PM



Welp I'm in a better mood than before, so I stole this from :iconagoraphobic-blue: just for fun . . .

[ ] smoked
[x] consumed alcohol
[x] slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex
[x] slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex
[x] kissed someone of the same sex
[ ] had sex
[x] had someone in your room other than family
[ ] watched porn
[ ] bought porn
[x] tried drugs (only legal xD)

TOTAL: 6

[x] taken painkillers
[x] taken someone else's prescription medicine
[x] lied to your parents
[x] lied to a friend
[x] snuck out of the house
[x] done something illegal
[x] felt hurt
[x] hurt someone
[x] wished someone to die
[x] seen someone die
(wow)

TOTAL: 16

[x] missed curfew
[x] stayed out all night
[x] eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself
[x] been to a therapist
[ ] received a ticket
[ ] been to rehab
[x] dyed your hair
[ ] been in an accident
[ ] been to a club
[ ] been to a bar

TOTAL: 21

[x] been to a wild party
[ ] been to a Mardi Gras parade
[ ] drank more than three alcoholic beverages in a night
[ ] had a spring break in Florida
[x] sniffed anything
[x] wore black nail polish
[x] wore arm bands
[x] wore t-shirts with band names
[x] listened to rap

TOTAL: 27

[x] dressed gothic
[x] dressed girly
[x] dressed punk
[x] dressed grunge
[x] stole something
[ ] been too drunk to remember anything
[ ] blacked out
[x] fainted
[x] had a crush on a neighbor

TOTAL: 34

[x] had a crush on a friend
[ ] been to a concert
[ ] dry-humped someone; been dry humped
[x] been called a slut
[x] called someone a slut
[ ] installed speakers in a car
[x] broken a mirror
[x] showered at someone of the opposites sex's house (it was fun! xD)
[x] brushed your teeth with someone else's toothbrush

TOTAL: 40

[ ] considered Ludacris your favorite rapper?
[x] seen an R-rated movie
[x] cruised the mall
[x] skipped school
[ ] had surgery
[x] had an injury
[x] gone to court (multiple tims xD)
[x] walked out of a restaurant without paying/tipping
[x] caught something on fire
[x] lied about your age

TOTAL: 48

[ ] owned/rented an apartment/house
[x] broke the law in the police's presence (uncle's a policeman, me nd my sisters drank at his house xD)
[x] made out with someone who had a GF/BF
[ ] got in trouble with the police
[x] talked to a stranger
[x] hugged a stranger
[x] kissed a stranger (i got 30 bucks for it, i swear!)
[ ] rode in the car with a stranger
[x] been harassed
[x] been verbally harassed

TOTAL: 55

[x] met face-to-face with someone you met online
[x] stayed online for 5+ hours straight
[x] talked on the phone for more than 4 hours straight
[x] watched TV for 5 hours straight
[x] been to a fair
[x] been called a bad influence
[ ] drank and drove
[x] prank-called someone
[x] laid on a couch with someone of the opposite sex
[x] cheated on a test

TOTAL: 64 (10 more than Blue right now)

If you have 00-10 ... write [I'm a goody-goody]
If you have 11-20 ... write [I'm still a goody-goody]
If you have 21-30 ... write [I'm average]
If you have 31-40 ... write [I'm a bad kid]
If you have 41-50 ... write [I'm a very bad influence]
If you have 51-60 ... write [I'm a horrible person]
If you have 61-70 ... write [I should be in jail]
If you have 71-80 ... write [I should be dead]
If you have 81-90 ... write [I got a ticket to Hell]

Well that was fun! xD

Graphics by *aishwaryakhan
CSS by =moonfreak
  • Mood: Cheerful
  • Listening to: Carry On My Wayward Son (i <3 that old song)
  • Reading: A really crappy short story that must be destroyed
  • Watching: Some weird guy on TV with swans in his pool
  • Playing: Persona 3 (me-ow, the protagonist is hot)
  • Eating: Pizza. It's nice cold.
  • Drinking: "Sakura Soda" made by me. Great stuff. *

Sighz . . .

Journal Entry: Sun Nov 22, 2009, 1:12 PM



I've been sick for, like, 4 days now. I feel like crap. I've been writing a lot, and doing a bit of drawing, but everything I do under the influence of this much cough medicine just comes out like the stuff I did in third grade. /fails/ I've been doing a lot of stuff about the Chinese Zodiac, just because I feel like, and I noticed that Fruits Basket fans in Vietnam are probably extremely confused: the cat is in the zodiac there, and the rabbit is the one excluded. Hmm. Strange.

I had a really weird dream last night: what would happen to all my stuff if I died? Like, would the people that read my fanfictions just keep posting stuff like "please update" and would my facebook buddies keep sending me messages? It was really strange, and when I woke up the first thing I thought was, "I am never touching cough meds again." I hallucinated a lot too, but that wasn't quite as unusual. I think I'm only taking prescription shit from now on. I'm all twitchy. xD

/rant/
I almost started crying last night when I noticed that after a year and a half on dA I only have 2,000 pageviews. Some of the people I know have been on here several months, have barely any art, and have several thousand pageviews. Some of them are even art thieves whose art is all taken without credit (we all know the type, who put up art that waaaay exceeds expectations and then they claim "oh, yeah, this took me like 2 hours to do." we all know you can't draw and color an amazing, realistic picture in only two hours, right?). I just got sooo mad and started pitying myself and then I was like "Aww, crap, my face is wet." Now I'm mad. It's so unfair. I work my ass off to try and put up pictures that people like, and I spend hours (sometimes 10 or more) on each and every picture, and barely anyone glances my way. It's the same with some of my closest friends. They try so hard and work so hard and people just blow us off and tell us, "Eh, that's okay work." Seriously, we put heart and soul into our work and no one even cares! Someone even told me that the only reason I'm a 'background' artist is because I'm a naive, amateur artist whose art isn't worth a shit and I need to work harder if I want to dance with the pros. That's so unfair! I've been wondering lately if people would notice me and all the other unnoticed artists out there if I commit suicide for my work, but then I thought, "no one would know I was dead, so what's the point?" Now I want to sit down and cry. Curse you, smug pros! *shakes fist* If you're a great artist who deserves your fame and you're a nice person, then great, your fortune was earned. I just hate all those people who look down on me because I'm young and inexperienced. Sigh.
/rant: over/

Graphics by *aishwaryakhan
CSS by =moonfreak
  • Mood: Bitter
  • Listening to: Carry On My Wayward Son (i <3 that old song)
  • Reading: A really crappy short story that must be destroyed
  • Watching: Some weird guy on TV with swans in his pool
  • Playing: Persona 3 (me-ow, the protagonist is hot)
  • Eating: Pizza. It's nice cold.
  • Drinking: "Sakura Soda" made by me. Great stuff. *

STUFF -_-

Tue Aug 18, 2009, 1:31 PM
I never noticed before, but I actually have a bunch of artist supplies. Software and traditional supplies. I always thought I was under-supplied, and then I went through all the installation CDs I have and counted all of my Copic markers and such . . . I have a copy of Photoshop Elements, Paintshop Pro 8, GimpShop 2, Corel Painter 4, Animation Shop 3, a Wacom Intuos tablet, over 300 colored pencils, nearly 50 Copic markers . . . Need I go on? It was very surprising. And then, to top it all off, I ordered copies of Manga Studio and Anime Studio (the newest versions) and an "Animals in Motion" book. They should all be here before September. It was very strange to realize the day after I ordered new stuff that I already had a ton. Oh well. Anime Studio will help me make Warriors: Land Of Ice a ton better, and Manga Studio will finally let me get Nekomimi straightened out. Animals In Motion looks really interesting, 'cause it's that artist book that just has page after page of animal running freeze-frames and stuff, so that if you trace them all and put them in an animation the animal will realistically run. I'm very excited. =dances around=

Wonderful ~ :iconfmastamp1::iconfmastamp2:

  • Mood: Triumph
  • Listening to: Hatsune Miku - World is Mine (lol random but true)
  • Reading: Nekomimi rough draft
  • Watching: My awesomely blinking avatar. BLINK BLINK!!
  • Playing: Wolf Quest
  • Drinking: Water . . . ?

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